Self-love vs. Selfishness


Okay ladies this is the last of our Self-love series. The reason I am spending the first four GirlTalks on self-love and what it looks like and why it is important, is because everything else we will talk about in this section will all line up in some way with how much we love, accept, and forgive ourselves.

Today I want to take a look at the difference between self-love and selfishness. A lot of ladies, and I’ve been there, adopt the mindset that if they do anything for themselves then they are being selfish. The definition of the word selfish is when someone is:  “devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one’s own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.” Now I don’t know many moms who would fit this description. It would be much more accurate if you put the word child in place of oneself.

The truth is ladies, we quite often put ourselves so far down on the totem pole that we don’t allow ourselves the things we need, especially spiritually speaking. There has been weeks in a row where I have not opened my bible, and I have so easily accepted the excuse that I’m way too busy with the kids and the house. But in recent years I have learned that when I take some ‘me’ time, and more importantly, some ‘me and God’ time, I am a much better mom, wife and even housekeeper.

You see, self-love is not about putting ourselves on a pedestal, but rather it’s about allowing ourselves the time to pour out all that we hold in to our Father in heaven, and then allowing Him to pour back into us all that He knows we need right then and there.

We talked about accepting ourselves, forgiving ourselves and loving ourselves. Well it all begins by taking that you time with God. Being in His word, in prayer and in a place of peace where you can sit and rest and soak up His awesome love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Gal. 5:22-23).

Having a healthy self-love is about realizing who God is and who you are in Him. So you can accept yourself just as you are because God does. So you can forgive yourself regardless of the past mistakes you’ve made because He does. So you can learn to love yourself, God’s creation, the one he chose to knit together because He certainly does.

Take time this week to do the most important thing you can for your family, your marriage and yourself; spend alone time with God.

Coming up on Monday: Pure in Heart

Be Blessed!


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